Sunday, August 01, 2010


With the stork visiting on a regular basis the question of who do you invite to a baby shower is the topic of many a conversation taking place at the water cooler, the neighborhood coffee klatch or the family dinner on Sunday. Choosing the baby shower invitations and baby shower decorations for the celebration is the fun part of shower planning. Determining who to invite to a baby shower can be a little more complicated.

We don't want to leave anybody out, nor do we want to bring Cousin A face to face with Cousin B for the first time since their feud began over twenty years ago just so they can have the final showdown at the party. Is it your responsibility as the hostess to be sure that family members don't duke it out over the punch bowl? Certainly, you would want to do everything in your power to keep any awkward situations at bay but keep reading and you will see that baby shower etiquette takes this burden from your shoulders.


For starters, the people who are usually invited are family members, friends and occasionally co-workers. And remember, even though the hostess is who pays for the baby shower, the guest list is not her responsibility and that she should always consult with the mother-to-be for a list of whom she wants to attend.


Since you will be footing the bill; it's perfectly alright to set some limitations as far as the number of guests that you can entertain. This is a very touchy step in the shower planning process but it's a fact of life that budget must be considered when determining who do you invite to a baby shower.

Hostesses should be very cautious in how they tell their pregnant friend that her guest list can only have X number of people on it. Perhaps the best way to avoid an uncomfortable moment is to mention when you tell her that you would like to throw a baby shower for her that you can only handle a certain number of guests. You might also indicate at this time that you would like to focus on a particular circle of friends, family members or co-workers.

Be prepared to present your case citing money issues or lack of space to accommodate a large number of people. If the number of people that you can handle and the number that your friend had in mind were worlds apart you might want to suggest that she have more than one baby shower, one for friends, one for family and another for the people that she works with rather than one huge party. Be warned that this is a very sensitive area where you should tread softly I have known friendships to be stressed to the point of fracture.

The bottom line of who do you invite to a baby shower is not really up to the hostess; it's up to the guest of honor. And once the guest list is agreed upon the mother-to-be should provide you with not only the name of her guests' but their mailing address, phone number or email address so that you can contact everyone to invite them to the party.


Your responsibility is to get the invitations to everyone on the list. The purpose of a baby shower is to bring together a group of individuals to surround the mother-to-be with people to share in her joy and to be there for her at this time of her life. You are merely the facilitator that forwards the necessary details to her chosen guests. So now you see, who is invited to a baby shower is up to the mother-to-be not the hostess.